It's common for people to need a sense of closure at the end of anything. When a romantic relationship ends, many people want closure; however, this isn't the only type of closure desired.
For example, children who have lost a parent may require some type of resolution in order to cope with their loss. In some situations, you may need to come to terms with the demise of a poisonous friendship or familial relationship.
Finding answers to unanswered questions is an integral part of finding a resolution, but is it better to keep things as they are and go on?
It is impossible to remain friends
It sounds like a fantastic idea to remain friends with someone you cared for. Perhaps it's evident that you'd like to return to being "just friends" if you were friends before you started dating. However, this is not how relationships function. You're not going to be fine if you make a sudden switch in modes like that.
Is there a chance you two could be buddies someday? Yes, it's possible if enough time has gone and both of you believe it's in your best interests. Until then, you must have taken a long hiatus from communication. In other words, the two of you must first come to terms with the situation.
It's up to you to bring things to a close on your own. Through journaling, talking to loved ones, or working with a professional, you are able to work through your feelings and come to terms with them.
Accept the situation
The truth is that, whether or not the relationship has been resolved, it has come to an end for one reason or another. Despite the fact that accepting this fact may be difficult, you must do it.
You'll get better with time and the right coping skills. You may meet someone new, establish a new friend, or strengthen existing relationships. There's a reason why that relationship didn't work out; you may not understand it right now, but you will in time. To be able to move on, you must first be able to accept your situation.
Do not interact on social media
For many, social media is a significant roadblock to closure in today's environment. You can call your ex at any time by simply picking up your phone and pressing a button.
The questions, confusion, and feelings begin to swirl around you. The first thing you should do if you want to get over your ex is to ban any communication with him or her. Avoid any social media connections at all. If necessary, take a break from social media.
Make a strategy for what you'll do or who you'll call if you experience the impulse to check out their Facebook page. Instead, jot down a list of possible activities. Put on your favorite music, take a hot shower, write down all of the things you loved/hated about your ex, and binge-watch your favorite television show to help you come to terms with your ex's departure. You can then refer to your list whenever the temptation arises.
Try to enjoy solitude
Doing things on one's own can be a great source of personal empowerment. Have you ever gone on a date with yourself? Once you give it a try, you may find that you actually prefer to be by yourself.
To show courtesy to your guest, you don't have to ask anyone what they like or wait to order until they have finished their meal before paying for anyone else.
The stigma of venturing out on your own has faded away, and it's no longer perceived as a negative. Go out on your own and enjoy it!
Forgive yourself and move forward
You'll experience a wide range of emotions as you come to terms with a breakup. It's not uncommon for emotions like rage and grief to surface, as well as irritation, anxiety, and fear. Also, you may be startled to learn that you need to work on your forgiveness.
When things don't go as planned, we tend to be hard on ourselves. You undoubtedly have a list of things you "did wrong" in the relationship that you can rattle off in no time. "Oh, there was that one time," "what ifs," and "if only."
You might also take the route of feeling like you're a failure. "Too much" or "not loved" or "broken" or any number of other things that are not true but feel real in the time just aren't true for you. Precisely how you are right now is exactly what you need to be doing at this point in your life. Because of this, you're making the appropriate decision to move forward in a healthy way by seeking closure. This means that your future self will be better off because you're already improving yourself in the present.
Try to engage in your hobbies
Hobbies are a great way to de-stress and have fun. In other words, look for something that makes you happy and content. So, whether you enjoy coloring, painting, pedicures, or shopping, do what brings you joy.
Hobbies can serve as excellent sources of mental and physical relaxation. Whenever you engage in an activity that makes you happy, it's like giving yourself a gift.
Do not let closure be a trigger
The word "trigger" refers to an event, concept, or person that has a significant impact on your emotional well-being, typically resulting in severe distress. Experts warn that your quest for closure may exacerbate or aggravate your fears.
If your partner no longer wants to be in a relationship with you, you might be tempted to ask them why they no longer wish to be in a relationship with each other. This is a last-ditch effort to find a resolution. However, even if you may be curious about the reasons for the end of a relationship, learning this information could be distressing.
Are you trying to find closure after your breakup? Book a session today with Crown Imperial Coaching!
Comments